Its been almost six years since I first moved to Delhi. At that time, the concept of a Metro was only a burgeoning thought here. Being from Calcutta ( yes, I like this one better than Kolkata. Sue me for it if you want! ) I only smiled when someone excitedly tried to introduce me to it. "You know why Delhi is cooler than the rest of the cities? 'Cos we'll soon have the Metro here!! How awesome is that ha?!" I yawned in response. Such sad, miserable kids.. Metro is so last season! Having travelled in the Calcutta Metro from the time i wore soggy diapers only made me pity the people of this city. But when i saw the first swanky, fully air-conditioned metro coach roll into Vishwavidyalaya station, I swallowed my pride before anyone caught a whiff of it! "How Awesome is that!?" screamed the salivating kid in me. If I had my way, I would have kissed the seats!! Ya, you can judge me now.. go right ahead.
Three years henceforth, Delhi metro was everywhere. Its like the skyline changed overnight. By that I meant, no sky was left to see. People used to look up to view birds, or clouds or empty starry nothingness. Now they look up to worship the Metro God. Well I'm not particularly religious myself, but that God I'm sure existed. Travelling became so much easier. Connaught Place became the new Kamla Nagar. Delhi in all its endless breadth, shrunk to a quarter of its size. So when I moved to Gurgaon, the Metro God heard my prayers and stretched his arms to embrace me in His fold. I said my prayers aloud and performed the jig.. I win! I'm Metro God's favourite child!
But this is God we were talking about, and by definition he never picks favourites. So my first ride back from Gurgaon to Akshardham was far from how I'd pictured it to be. At six thirty in the evening, when I was just rolling my sleeves up to do that ' I win' jig again at Iffco Chowk, I suddenly realized that my beloved country is the second most populated one in the world. All i saw was heads around me. Bald, oiled, pony-tailed, streaked, greying, veiled, gelled, spiked Heads. My heart skipped a beat. Not one. But many I'm sure. How the hell did they all know I was travelling in this metro?! Did they hire spies to stalk me? Dude! But I didn't do anything.. I was a regular, innocent, Metro God fearing boy.. Then why me? The train stopped before me. I had to save my drama for later, and make sure I got a seat. Yah! I was still dreaming! I was pushed into the compartment like I was a midget. and before long, the doors closed and I set out on a journey with no end. I had one foot over the other. My bag was squished like it didn't have any business there. I was dangling from one of those rods, with my other hand resting comfortably on someone else's head. That was my posture for the night. God had decided it, and I had no choice but to obey. I was a breathing, living fossil, and it wasn't pretty.
When I finally got thrown out of the compartment at Akshardham, changing metro lines in between ( yes, this happened twice! ), I felt like God had rejected me, and I never felt happier. If paradise was THAT, I would choose Hell anyday. But something good happened. I realized I lost at least a kilo in an hour! Not because i lost calories trying to balance myself and simultaneously trying not to kill my co-passenger accidentally with an elbow nudge, but because that extra kilo got readjusted, and pressed into a needy pocket in my body structure. The cute little paunch, that my mom so carefully fed and nurtured during my days at home, was gone and I got back my lean and rugged look!! So all you guys trying to lose weight out there, scratch your names out from the Gold Gym rolls, chuck those Slim Sauna Belts in the bin, and hit the Delhi Metro. You'll lose a kilo in an hour! How cool is that!
Three years henceforth, Delhi metro was everywhere. Its like the skyline changed overnight. By that I meant, no sky was left to see. People used to look up to view birds, or clouds or empty starry nothingness. Now they look up to worship the Metro God. Well I'm not particularly religious myself, but that God I'm sure existed. Travelling became so much easier. Connaught Place became the new Kamla Nagar. Delhi in all its endless breadth, shrunk to a quarter of its size. So when I moved to Gurgaon, the Metro God heard my prayers and stretched his arms to embrace me in His fold. I said my prayers aloud and performed the jig.. I win! I'm Metro God's favourite child!
But this is God we were talking about, and by definition he never picks favourites. So my first ride back from Gurgaon to Akshardham was far from how I'd pictured it to be. At six thirty in the evening, when I was just rolling my sleeves up to do that ' I win' jig again at Iffco Chowk, I suddenly realized that my beloved country is the second most populated one in the world. All i saw was heads around me. Bald, oiled, pony-tailed, streaked, greying, veiled, gelled, spiked Heads. My heart skipped a beat. Not one. But many I'm sure. How the hell did they all know I was travelling in this metro?! Did they hire spies to stalk me? Dude! But I didn't do anything.. I was a regular, innocent, Metro God fearing boy.. Then why me? The train stopped before me. I had to save my drama for later, and make sure I got a seat. Yah! I was still dreaming! I was pushed into the compartment like I was a midget. and before long, the doors closed and I set out on a journey with no end. I had one foot over the other. My bag was squished like it didn't have any business there. I was dangling from one of those rods, with my other hand resting comfortably on someone else's head. That was my posture for the night. God had decided it, and I had no choice but to obey. I was a breathing, living fossil, and it wasn't pretty.
When I finally got thrown out of the compartment at Akshardham, changing metro lines in between ( yes, this happened twice! ), I felt like God had rejected me, and I never felt happier. If paradise was THAT, I would choose Hell anyday. But something good happened. I realized I lost at least a kilo in an hour! Not because i lost calories trying to balance myself and simultaneously trying not to kill my co-passenger accidentally with an elbow nudge, but because that extra kilo got readjusted, and pressed into a needy pocket in my body structure. The cute little paunch, that my mom so carefully fed and nurtured during my days at home, was gone and I got back my lean and rugged look!! So all you guys trying to lose weight out there, scratch your names out from the Gold Gym rolls, chuck those Slim Sauna Belts in the bin, and hit the Delhi Metro. You'll lose a kilo in an hour! How cool is that!
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